When it comes to weddings, most mothers have the best of intentions, wanting to help whenever and wherever they can. The problem is that unfortunately, many mothers overstep their bounds, often starting as soon as the bride becomes engaged. The problem is that they simply want to help, offering their own experience and knowledge but they will often go overboard forgetting about the bride and grooms wishes.
If you have just become engaged and already getting daily phone calls from your mother asking about the weddng date, the bridal party, and colors, and so on, then you know that you have a challenge. Sadly, your mother means well but she is somehow determined to make your wedding the occasion of her dreams. To ensure you handle this situation in a way that no one gets hurt, we would recommend some of the following.
Remember that a wedding, especially for a mother involves deep-seeded emotions. This occasion is one of letting go of a mothers baby girl and coming to terms with the fact that she is now a grown woman. If you think that there will be some friction between you and your mother, you will need to guide the process with a lot of love and patience. This means that you need to relax, make the process fun, and expect the best.
Although you and your mother may have completely different tastes, you want to allow her time to speak her piece. You do not need to do what she wants but at least listen. Interestingly, many brides find that their mother has great ideas, if the bride will only take the time to hear them out but you need to help your mother understand that you probably will not do everything she wants.
While it might be hard, it is crucial that you be honest with your mother. If you have a close relationship, then she will understand and respect your decisions. However, if your relationship is somewhat rough, chances are that she might become upset. Regardless, being honest is always the best approach.
Some mothers can be very persistent, knowing exactly what to say to sway a decision. If you and your future husband have already decided on a particular aspect, then you need to stand your ground. After all, the decisions are not just yours but also the man you will marry. Therefore, if your mother is insistent, you will need to remind her that you are now a grown woman and this decision has been made between you and your future husband.
The most important thing is that you need to ask your mother for her advice, even if you do not follow it. Just remember that all your mother really wants is to be involved. Most often, she is not concerned that you will do what she wants, simply ask her advice and opinion. You might even run your ideas past your mother and again, then listen to her response.
Most importantly, make this time with your mother a time of joy and fun. This big day is special not just to you and the future husband but to your mother. She truly wants the very best for you and as the daughter, it is important you respect her while creating a lifetime memory.