Just about every bride and groom will tell you that selecting the wedding party is a difficult task. After all, the last thing you want is to leave anyone out or hurt anyones feelings by not asking them to participate. However, as the selection process begins, you will soon discover that having everyone in the wedding is impossible. For the groomsmen, you want to make the right choices, which is not always easy especially if you have a small to medium-size wedding planned.
The one thing to remember is that people will give yo recommendations of individuals you must have in your wedding party. Although family and friends mean well with their recommendations, the choice is yours to make. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes you will go against what mom and dad suggest but remember that this is your wedding so you should be the one making the choices. Additionally, you are not obligated to ask anyone in particular. While there are some guidelines to help you choose, the final choice is what you want.
The one rule to remember is that unless you and your brother(s) are not on speaking terms or if one lives in another country and cannot make it to the wedding, you should always have the brother(s) stand up with you. Even if you and your brother(s) are not speaking, this might be the ideal time to clear the air. After brothers, the other groomsmen would include close friends. Typically, the friends are people you have known for a long time such as those with whom you attended college.
An important thing to remember is that being a groomsman comes with responsibility. Therefore, before you corner anyone into saying yes to your offer, be sure they are made aware of the tasks that they will be expected to do, which includes both time and financial input. For instance, the groomsmen would be responsible for paying for travel and hotel accommodations, the tuxedo and shoe rental, and they would be required to attend special functions such as the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, tuxedo fittings, and photography sessions. Other responsibilities would include helping to plan and attend the bachelor party, seating the guests if ushers are not used, dancing with the bridesmaids, and purchasing a gift for the newly married couple. Once the individual knows what all is involved, he can then make his decision.
Getting married is a huge step in life and one that will hold lifetime memories. For this reason, you need to be wise in your choice of groomsmen. For instance, while you and one person may be very close, you might also be aware that he tends to sip a little too much alcohol and could create a scene at the reception. Another situation might be a close friend that is going through or has just gone through a divorce and you are not sure how he will hold up emotionally. Taking this information, you need to evaluate if either person would be a good groomsmen, regardless of how close a relationship you have.