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Wedding & Family - In-Laws

You can ask just about every bride and groom about the challenges of dealing with in-laws. Now that the challenges are negative, simply that there are two sets of parents, each loving their own child very much and therefore, want the best for them. However, sometimes the good intentions can spill over into demands to have things done their way, which then creates problems.

Rather than stress over differences, you can do some things to ensure both sets of in-laws are accommodated with their preferences, feeling important while not taking over. In addition to the wedding running smoother, this will also ensure no bad blood develops that could be carried into the marriage.

One of the most important things is that the decisions need to be made by the bride and groom. If both do not agree and stand firm in their decision, then trouble will surely develop. In fact, for many couples about to be married, they find this to be their first time dealing with in-law challenges. Keep the lines of communication open and hear each other out. Then, once the decision has been made, stand together as a team.

Although it might seem difficult, it is important that you set boundaries so the future in-laws know exactly what to expect. In most cases, this can be done by taking both sets of parents out to dinner and simply talking things over. As an example, if one of the things you both agree on is that you prefer the parents call ahead of time when visiting rather than just showing up. All you have to do is be honest and say, We love you dearly and of course, our home is always open to you. However, the one thing we agree on is that if you would just call us before you decide to visit rather than showing up announced, this would be appreciated. With that, the parents should understand and accept your decision.

Another important thing is to build a close bond with your in-laws. These people are going to be a part of your life for the rest of your and their life. Be respectful and try to learn from their mistakes. Just remember that in-laws can be wonderful but it takes time to build a relationship so allow things to grow naturally rather than force them.

Always be yourself. Typically, people will try to put on their best face for in-laws, which is understandable. However, it is more important that they see you for who you really are from the beginning. This will help them get to know the real you, building the relationship on solid ground. It is also important that you be respectful and polite. For instance, when you receive a nice gift from your in-laws, take five minutes to write a personal thank you note. If they invite you to dinner, offer to help upon arrival and insist on helping clean up.

Finally, with all in-laws, there are times when things get bumpy. This is perfectly normal and not something that you should take seriously. If something is said out of anger, do your best to overlook it reminding yourself that they too are humans. That means they have bad days, over-react, and make bad decisions like everyone else. Therefore, if something is bothering you, sit down with the in-law and talk it over. The relationship will not only be salvaged, but also strengthened.

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